I haven’t posted in a while. I have been on the fence about several things, most notably my blogging. I’m not so sure that I want to be held accountable for one more thing. There are only so many minutes in the day.
Wow. I wasn’t even writing that much. The boys were almost two years old- very well behaved and relatively “easy” for us; they were still in diapers, learning the word, “no” and exploring everything they could get their hands on and into. My girls would have been in preschool and first grade. My oldest was still working on how to count to 100 without skipping any numbers, and my little girl was so little. Sigh. They have changed so much. Taller, sassier for sure, and so smart and beautiful. I haven’t really missed any one particular thing. But I feel that I am doing MORE than I was then?!
This season of my life: being a mom, and working librarian part-time, is exactly what I should be doing right now. I think we all struggle with knowing if we are doing what we should be doing-whether it is a job, education, staying home, volunteering, or whatever. I see how amazing so many of the women in my life are, taking care of their families and themselves- at the same time!- and doing so many great things…but they struggle with the “wants” of others: better house, time to travel, time to read, a cleaner house, nights out on the town, a perfect garden. They are annoyed that they can’t keep up. Competitive or apologetic. Either way, it kind of sucks. Literally, sucks the life right out of us.
I want you to know that it is OKAY with me. Actually it is more than okay- it is AWESOME that dust is an inch thick in your house or you have let your garden grow…way past the edging. I’d rather play.
IF you are able to let some little things go, you might enjoy it. This is your time to be a mom of little kids! It won’t always be…I know we hear it all the time “enjoy this time, it goes so fast”. Ugh! I used to think people were crazy! It wasn’t going fast enough at times with four kids under 5 years old! But it is so true, I now realize. Sigh#2. It goes so fast.
Leave the toys out: it makes your house a warm and inviting place for kids! Instead of pushing them to the outer limits of the house, you are telling your kids and their friends, that they can play! Because playing is their season. They are not supposed to be little adults, contrary to what they might think!
I read the exerpt from my past post (above), this morning, as I came off a great night out with my sisters-in-law. After a break, I could see my life a bit clearer for what it is: A messy house. A messier desk. Wonderful family. Kids who LOVE their mama. On so many levels and in so many ways I wish we women would give ourselves and each other a break. So, her house is messy, who cares? Is she nice to her kids? Other people? A happy person?
I love this blog, and the fact that it is my memory for so many events in my life and where I was at a certain point in my kid’s lives. It helps me record what I read, what I saw, what I was interested in…It also gives me perspective on how I have grown as a mom. I slide down the “path of wants” pretty easily, within one afternoon of HGTV or an hour looking at House Beautiful Magazine. So maybe I am just making excuses for my bad behavior, but that too, is just where I am at right now: living the dream, one season at a time. And when this season is over, I will have this journal to help me remember…and I will miss it so, so much.