Thinking Out Loud Thursday: Compromise

TOLT CompromiseThinking out LOUD today. I think this time it is okay- Sometimes I say things out loud when I probably shouldn’t.  Actually most of the time I do this. Sometimes a good outcome: laughing until you cry…or often is ends badly:  trying to run away before anyone realizing I just said that thing... Not today!

Today being Thursday, I am linking up with Amanda over at  “Thinking out loud Thursday” on her blog! See? I am not alone today!

Today’s thought:  I think we make so many decisions harder than they need to be.

We make so many compromises in life.

Working moms especially make sacrifices of their time, never having 100% in the game of any one thing. You may think you do, but you don’t, do you?

If you sacrifice too much of yourself and are constantly giving to others, and you give up what you want or need, your reserve will eventually run out.  You run the risk of becoming bitter and angry.  Giving to others doesn’t have to mean not giving to yourself as well:

“We must not think that our love has to be extraordinary .  But we do need to love without getting tired…[How does a lamp burn? Through continuous drops of oil.  These drops are the small things in life: faithfulness, small words of kindness, a thought for others…] They are the true drops of love that keep our lives and our relatioships burning a lively flame.”
— Mother Theresa

What got me thinking about these drops of oil….?

My work/life compromise: I am late 15 minutes at a minimum every day to work.  Does my workplace realize this? I have worked there for 7 years, so my bet is that ‘yes’ they realize it! Passive/Aggressive? Maybe. More like, I am unwilling to give up what I need, to give them what they need.  {Props to them as they have been patient enough to allow me to do this.}

I am unwilling to compromise on this one.  I don’t want to get there earlier.  Doing so would mean that I can’t get my kids up and fed and out of the house…and actually see them get on the bus. I know this makes me late, but I want to see them for as long as I can in the morning before I don’t see them at all for the entire day…

Will I ever regret being 15 minutes late every day? Maybe…not. Probably not.

Will I ever regret not seeing my child before they leave for school, and I for work? Yes. Definitely, yes.

It isn’t “extraordinary” to kiss my children goodbye for the day.  But I feel it sets their whole day and mine with a little of the “oil” that keeps our souls filled with warmth and love.

There are some things I am not willing to give up. This is one. And I think it is pretty simple.

2 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud Thursday: Compromise

  1. Marisa

    You have struck a nerve with me today with this… So many times we, both mothers and fathers, are asked to choose between our family and our work – and then penalized if we prioritize family. When we got married – work was so intense that we took only 3 days off to “celebrate” one of the biggest life-long commitments we would ever make. THREE DAYS. And when we brought our son home from the hospital – my husband was only allowed five days off to bond with this new life and our new family. FIVE DAYS. And I was able to take nine weeks of unpaid leave. Better than six, I suppose. Just yesterday I was unable to see my son off to his first day of kindergarten because of a required morning “social” at work. These precious life-changing moments are once in a lifetime. Deadlines at work are never-ending. We, as a society, need to work to value family life and stop putting each other in the position of having to choose. Because in the end – what will we be pining for, wishing we could re-live? Deadlines at work. I doubt that very much.

    1. Post author

      Oh, Marisa, you speak my heart. I edited my version over 10 times, trying to tone down my disappointment and focus on the way that we can “refill” our tanks if you will- I also doubt that we will be regretful of missing out on work, over family.
      The good thing about getting older…the one positive right now for me, is the wisdom it brings…these decisions I feel are much easier for me now then they were when I was younger. I can see that my time is finite, and I prioritize how I want to spend it. xoxo. Sacrifice versus compromise. One of them gives you something back. It is an important distinction I think.

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