“You Look Gorgeous! What is your secret?”

I had planned to write about airports today, but I have veered left to a topic pertinent to people everywhere and important for daily use. Or dis-use if that is a word.

For those of you who think it appropriate to empathetically tell someone, “you look tired…” Please, pretty please, I implore you to STOP. I know you mean well. I know you are concerned. But recently, I have privy to not one, not two, but three separate conversations from friends who have been told that they “look tired.”

Not surprisingly, they were not happy about it. Not only are they too busy to eat, vacuum, clean the dribble off their shirts, they aren’t sleeping because they are in the midst of raising their kids. Not only are they tired folks, but they are short on time and patience, so if you think you may just have to tell them how bad they look, I would advise you to duck and cover!

I myself am past the newborn years with my kids, yet I still have some lingering sleep issues with the boys. I look tired A LOT of the time. So much so, that I too have an inside joke with my husband about how often I am told that I look tired. It stings a bit, but mostly I just feel bad about myself: Hey! I put on makeup today! I can’t look tired!

Raising kids, means you oftentimes lose sleep. It weakens your immune system, you get terrible eczema, and your hair is just not as thick as it used to be. But that is the reality for moms everywhere. So think of this short diatribe, the next time you see a new, or any mom who looks tired. Wait until they ask, “Do I look tired?” or “Is my cover-up working yet?” or “Did I snore through that staff meeting?” before you even think of telling them the truth.

As my best friend put it, in its simplest terms: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. Let’s try asking them if they need help instead. Can I help you carry that? Can I watch the kids for you? I’d love to share my recipe for stuffed shells, better yet, I will make you a pan and bring it over! Look out for these new and frazzled moms. It can only be an opportunity for giving. Or lie. “You look awesome!” “Nice Hair.” “Your kids are so well mannered!” It all helps.

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